Planning a Baby Shower- Baby Shower Questions Answered

Find common questions people ask when planning a baby shower answered below.





Who should host the baby shower? Traditionally, only non-relatives are supposed to host a baby shower -- co-workers, church groups, friends etc. However, it has become more common and acceptable for mothers and sisters to host showers too. It is also perfectly acceptable for more than one person to host a baby shower. The only one who absolutely should not host a shower is the expecting mom herself!





Who pays the bill? How much should the host spend? Usually the host/hosts will pay for the cost of the baby shower. This is when it might be nice to co-host a shower with someone else. How much you spend depends on a variety of factors such as whether you will serve a full meal or just hors d'oeuvres, what kinda of cake you will have, where you have the party, what type of games and prizes you plan on (if any), whether you give out favors and how elaborate you are with decorations.





Who do I invite? How should I invite the guests? You will likely have some idea of who you want to invite to the shower, but it is always a safe bet to run the guest list by the mom-to-be (or a close relative or friend if the shower is a surprise) to ensure you haven't left anyone out or invited anyone they rather not be present. If the shower is not for a firstborn, you may want to invite only those close to the mom-to-be or those who have not attended previous showers. Guests can be invited via a phone, e-mail or a written invitation. Written invitations are the most popular way to invite guests mainly because serve as a great reminder for the guests and they allow the hostess to give guests a taste of what the theme will be. You can purchase pre-printed invitations or make the invitations by hand. No matter what type of invitation you use, be sure to include important information such as the date, time and place of the shower, if there is a theme you would like the guests to follow, whether the gender of the baby is known or if gifts should be neutral, where the mom-to-be has registered and a map or directions to the shower.





Should the men be invited? This really depends on what type of shower you are planning. For the most part, guys likely will not be interested in playing traditional "shower" games, eating cutesy foods and talking about pregnancy and childbirth. However, a shower can be a special event for expecting dads as well as moms if they're done with women and men in mind. If the party is not a surprise, be sure to check with the mom-to-be as to whether the dad (and his friends) would enjoy a baby celebration. If she agrees, go from there. If you are including games at your shower, be sure to make them "men friendly? and have plenty of food available for your male guests. It would be a nice touch to include gifts that are special for the new dad -- a book on fathers and children, an "I love my daddy" bib for the baby, or maybe a frame Dad can take to the office to display a new picture of his baby!





Should I invite someone who has recently miscarried or is dealing with infertility? While your friend may not want to attend the shower because it would be too painful, she may feel even more hurt if she isn't invited at all. Gently ask your friend if she would feel up to coming -- no pressure. Assure her that it is OK for her to decline the invitation if a shower is just too difficult for her.





Where should I have the shower? Showers are normally held in the home of the hostess. However, you can certainly host a shower at a favorite restaurant or banquet hall -- it really all depends on what atmosphere you are looking for and how much money you want to spend.





When to throw a baby shower? Showers are normally given before the baby is born, generally a month or two before the mom's due date. It's a good idea to give the mom enough time following the shower to shop for items she didn't receive, yet wants to have before the baby arrives. And of course you don't want to hold the shower too close to baby's due date in case he or she makes an early arrival! Another option is to hold a "welcoming shower" a few weeks after the baby arrives, particularly if guests want to bring gifts specifically for a boy or girl. This is also an option if there are special out-of-town relatives (baby's grandparents, for example) that are coming post-birth and would love to attend the shower but cannot arrange two trips.





Should the baby shower be a surprise? Surprises can be fun if they are the kind of thing the expecting mother usually enjoys. If the shower is going to be a surprise, you will need the help of those close to mom to find out her needs and wants for the baby. You'll also want to plan the guest list carefully, checking it with a relative or friend to make sure you haven't left anyone out who is close to the expecting mom or invited someone the new mom would prefer not be there. Although surprises are nice, throwing a baby shower that is not a surprise is obliviously much easier to do. It gives the hostess a chance to review the menu and guest list with the new mom and allows the mom to register for baby gifts and let the hostess know her preferences. No matter whether the shower is a surprise or not, keep in mind that it is for the mom to be! Make sure she has a comfy chair to sit in, someone to hand her gifts, her favorite foods, and plenty of help getting the gifts to her car and into her home. After all, it's her special day!





Should a baby shower be held for a couple whose adopting? A baby shower is a wonderful way to help new parents welcome an adopted child into the family. Before the shower, talk with the mom about what items she needs for the child. Also, be sure not to host the shower too early so that the parents will be welcoming the new child into their home. If the adoption does not go as planned, the shower can add to the new parents' heartache.





Should baby showers be held for the second, third, fourth, etc.. baby? Many believe a baby shower should only be held for the first child. However, it has become more common for baby showers to be held for every child whether it is the first or the tenth. After all, each child is special and deserves special recognition. Parents will appreciate some new clothes for baby, especially if they are having a different gender child from their other(s). At the same time there are probably various new baby products that weren't around when they had their first child. If you feel that the parents-to-be are all set with baby gear and clothes, you can give them the gift of your time. New moms will certainly appreciate a gift of babysitting, your assistance with household chores or a home cooked meal. It's also a nice idea to give something to the parents for themselves such as a gift certificate for dinner at a restaurant or tickets to a movie (with babysitting provided of course). You can also give mom something she can use to pamper herself or something that will make her feel special such as spa products, a sweet treat, a robe and slippers or even a piece of jewelry. How elaborate you would like to be with the baby shower and gifts is up to you.





When should the mom-to-be register for gifts? If the mom-to-be intends on registering, she should do so about a month before the shower. This allows the host to send the registration information along with the invitations. Some women think the whole idea of registering for gifts is rude because you are telling your guests what to get you. Truth is, registering saves a lot of frustration for the mom-to-be, the hostess and the guests. Not only does it prevent duplicate baby shower gifts, but it also allows the mommy-to-be to receive gifts she both needs and wants. Remember...you can suggest to your guests that the mom-to-be has registered somewhere, but whether or not they actually follow the baby registry is up to them.